So it’s been near two weeks since I wrote something. Such a shame, because the blog was just starting to pick up. 😛
I’ve been insanely busy though, what with wrapping up college projects and laboratory records and whatnot, and trying to find time with friends and make grand gestures of nostalgic camaraderie. :/
Anyway, I’m sorry for the slack, and this is a short piece to tell you about stuff that I’ll put up soon.
I recently bought a new phone (and with my own money no less), and I love it, so I might put up an end-user review here. The device in question is the Motorola Moto G.
There’s a grand gesture of nostalgic camaraderie coming up tomorrow (postponed from today), so I will document it and put it up soon, hopefully by Saturday evening (IST).
I also loved the Weekly Writing Challenge and the concept of imagesets of 3, so I will probably write something in that capacity soon.
I have about 20 ideas and drafts for Assorted Essays, but I doubt you’ll see any of those this week. Sorry. 🙂
Meanwhile, you could read these three recommended posts:
What could possibly be wrong with fixing your own schedule around a flexible and comfortable deadline, and having the freedom to do whatever else you want? Let me tell you.
I was thinking of this topic today morning (at 9; It’s still morning here as I write this), and I had formed the basis and structure in my head. The word ‘atrophy’ was buzzing around. As I sat down to write, I saw an e-mail from The Daily Post: The Weekly Writing Challenge.
Intrigued because I had never done one before, I looked at it, and I made an immediate connection with this post. For anyone who has watched House M.D., you know about Dr. Gregory House’s atrophied leg and his iconic walking stick (not just the flame-print one, but also the classic polished wooden stick).
This post is about the dangers of getting too comfortable with things that we do or people that we meet, lest we atrophy in a similar manner. To get a clearer idea of what I’m talking about, read on.
At some point in their lives, many people encounter a phase where nothing goes right. Everything is bad, or dull, or boring and uninteresting, or unappealing. It’s a terrible feeling, because I’ve had several tastes of these phases, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
A friend of mine is currently suffering from something of this sort. S/he (henceforth referred to as she) shared some of he/r feelings with me recently, and that was my motivation to write this. I don’t know if she is feeling hopelessness, but from what she has told me, I feel she has had a rough few months, and by extension, a rough couple of years at her workplace. And I feel helpless because I want to help her, but I do not know how to do it. I don’t know how open I can be with her, since we’ve had our ups and downs, and it hinders me a little. And that is my topic for today – The plight of the stand-along; my plight, as I feel helpless for my friend; the plight of all friends who see their loved one go through something difficult and feel that they are not helping enough.
Really, I just want to be the “stand-along” – the handhold in the storm that she can confidently grab without fear of abandonment if she wants to. I want to hold her hand and lead her out of her doldrums, and bring freshness and rejuvenation into her life, if she would have me.
Here is my problem. How do you know when you are helping a friend and when you are patronising them? How and where do you draw a line between respect and child-like care and spoon-feeding? How do you know that the choices you suggest aren’t toxic by themselves? And most importantly, how do you know when to leave your friend alone, and when to super-glue their arm to yours?
If you, dear reader, have gone through something of this nature, or know someone who has – could you please help me? That’s the question of the day. Please help me get started, and I am confident I can handle the rest.
I have deliberately been vague because I want to keep my friend anonymous. If necessary, I can divulge a few more details in private.
I eagerly await your responses. Thank you for reading my post.
EDIT: I looked at the weekly challenge, and it actually fits this post because I had been hesitant to write about it. Hence I “broke my silence”. 🙂
I had been debating whether to write this piece for many months now, because I had thought it would seem silly to everyone else. But today, it got very real very quick, and I felt it had enough gravity to warrant finally telling you guys about it.
FPiTS is a name I made up for something that makes me very, very uncomfortable and generally makes me squeamish and unhappy. It stands for “Fat People in Trouble Syndrome”, and I have wanted to write about it for a long, long time now.
This uneasy feeling stems from a lifetime of cartoons where a character eats too much food, gains a bulging belly and is too indisposed to do anything but lie there…
…and from my father’s incessant prodding about weight-gain (He started doing it to everybody after he had been working out for a year). His heart’s in the right place, but he doesn’t know how to filter or when to quit it.
Nevertheless, those cartoon characters who moan and lie there, unable to help themselves and struggled to get something done always made me shudder. I think it was always scary for me because I never wanted to be in that situation – feeling so helpless that all I could do was let out an incoherent groan of despair – and this feeling still gets to me. Suddenly finding an overweight dog on the street, or seeing a large person sitting alone at a restaurant, gets me down. I’m not saying it’s wrong for someone to eat alone, but I cannot help feeling both scared and terrible about finding myself in a situation where I alienate myself from everything and get stuck in a loop of food addiction. This is part of the reason I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs – I fear losing control of myself.
Now, I have a number of friends who are/were very large, and who are very comfortable in their skin. I also admire Gabriel Iglesias, the comedian (who defines 5 levels of fatness – Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy and DAMN!, and a sixth – OH HELL NO!).
And this BAMF.
And these people have helped me curb this insane fear to a large extent. But this fear of losing control is very much part of my life, and it haunts me when I, say, get on a scale and find that I am 73 kg (161 lb), because I don’t forget easily, and all these images and words from my father come rushing back and intimidate and paralyze me.
I mentioned at the beginning how real this fear got today. I was at a restaurant with one of my roommates for dinner, and while we were waiting for our food, I looked around at other customers. I saw a slightly healthy couple (they were fine really) eating, and just the sight of the lady (she was quite pretty actually even if slightly plump) led me to notice them chewing, and I couldn’t stop noticing all the other customers chewing, and it kick-started this feeling as if I was chewing all that food, and I immediately started squirming. I couldn’t keep still, and I was wringing my hands tightly trying to stop myself, and I just wanted to cancel my order, run the 750m-odd distance home and just go to sleep. Fortunately, my roommate declared another bit of important news which distracted me, and I was able to work with that to proceed normally again.
Today has shown me that I’m in fact a very insecure person, in at least some capacity, and I feel I may never cross my self-inflicted barriers – both this and others. I could probably work with it and use it as motivation for my otherwise lazy self, but I feel that the strong unpleasant and sometimes downright rotten feeling is not worth the payoff of a healthier lifestyle. These barriers are effective because they are self-inflicted. I believe I know myself pretty well, and so I know what works against me. It’s messed up, isn’t it?
So today’s question is this – Do you have any self-inflicted barriers? What are your fears and how do you deal with them?
Thank you for reading my post, and I would deeply appreciate your thoughts and comments. I would also appreciate if you would read through my other posts, which are all categorized here –> All Posts.
It’s 7:30 AM right now where I am, and I need to start dressing for college. Nevertheless, I read my mail and I see two new posts from Blogs that I follow: Forgiveness is Hard – A post that reflects many of my own thoughts, and gives me hope that people from all religions and those choosing not to be religious can get along quite easily. Thank you for your post, Ms. Vida – I read your blog to prove to myself that I am secular, and I walk away with wisdom and validation.
Five Proven Methods for Interstellar High-Fives – A post so perfect, that it appeals to both the bro generation and to the Doctor Who fan in me. Bring together all my fandoms, Ms. Laura Palmer and please continue your fantastic writings. They are a pleasure to read.
Reading stuff like this early in the morning evokes all sorts of positive feelings, and then you top it off with breakfast!
And yes, that is me on the mug – It’s something I got for my birthday in 2012, and I refuse to drink stuff from anything else. 🙂
So, I’m having a great morning *touchwood*, and hopefully this continues into the rest of the day. Wish you all a great morning too! 🙂
Question: Leave a comment on what you think is a great morning, or a description of the best morning you have ever had.
I would also appreciate if you would read through my other posts, which are all categorized on my Welcome Page.
So The Daily Post does this cool thing where they post a prompt everyday for writers who are stuck with no ideas. Today’s prompt states thus:
Do you have a reputation? What is it, and where did it come from? Is it accurate? What do you think about it?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us YOU.
I felt like taking it up in a short piece, which follows immediately.
A reputation is a dangerous thing to have. It not only causes people to presume your demeanour, but also tends to have your public character pigeonholed into a tight, often unyeilding, mold. In other words, that all-important first impression of you has already been made by your reputation. It is made before you might even have an opportunity to present yourself for who you think you really are.
I do have a reputation. I know this because I have this practice where I periodically identify a person who is relatively new to me, but has in a short span of time, become a dear friend to me. I then privately ask this person to appraise my character. After the inevitable silly jokes and well-meant slander, I ask them to get serious and they do. Over the course of 7 years, I think I’ve done this 4-6 times (maybe more, I’m not sure), each time with a different person. I then look for patterns in their answers – stuff that other people have told me, and general inclinations that you pick up in conversations.
I think I’ve alluded to this practice in an earlier post. If it seems interesting to you, please feel free to use it in your own life. Come back and tell me about it, if you like! I’d love feedback.
There have been several patterns to notice, and the two that I notice most are that I am:
A very helpful/nice person
A sometimes arrogant person (I highlight “sometimes” because the political correctness amuses me)
I will be addressing the arrogance part here. The next part of the question asks me to ascertain the origin of this reputation. I think I discovered the grapevine, if I remember correctly, with “[me] bragging everyday about [my] mother’s cooking. [his] mother’s cooking was great too but you didn’t see [him] talking about it”. It seems so silly in hindsight, but I guess it mattered to children barely into middle school. The whole “arrogance” thing has been with me ever since, in every social group I ever entered.
I think the truthfulness of this ‘accusation’, for lack of a better word is limited to these facts –
For all my amateur writing and speaking experience, I’m still a very inept and awkward conversationalist because I never know what is off-limits and I fail to filter. This plagues me to this day.
I tend to remember very specific moments of my life, where I felt strong emotions, especially embarrassment and this can happen at any time, even in the middle of a conversation. I never know what the trigger is. While it helps tone down the arrogance, it is, obviously, not a pleasant experience for me. This, coupled with the previous point, leads me into more and more awkward conversations, to the point that people start getting annoyed while talking to me.
These points are only valid when I am in an informal setting. I make a great formal impression, and I handle myself with as much professionalism as a corporate greenhorn can muster. Therefore, when I meet new people, I tend to at least try not to get too comfortable with them, because history has shown me far too few people who would willingly listen to and put up with what I say.
In a previous post, I may have alluded to a tumultuous time in my life when my closest friends at the time collectively decided to stop speaking with me. While the situation blew over eventually, it led me to form two things: A defense mechanism of absolute self-satisfaction to overcome a confrontational situation, and an attitude to choose my principles over the feelings and companionship of people. It was also partly responsible for my choice to be severely honest. Many people find this self-serving attitude arrogant, but the beauty of it is that the same attitude lets me not care. Que sera sera – I learnt long ago that not everyone deserves my love and attention.
My principles have been under the scrutiny of several people still apparently. I moved to B.Sc. (Honors) for my final year of study last year (I graduate in May this year), and as a result I got a lot of new classmates – people I had never met before. We danced the awkward dance of new beginnings, and eventually were able to engage in easy conversation. During one such group conversation, when the focus shifted to me, one of my new friends told me this:
Hey, why did all those people say you are not a good guy and I shouldn’t talk to you? You seem like a nice person. (paraphrased)
I won’t say any more on this topic, except that my reply was – “Well they didn’t have the courage to come tell me, did they? I am a nice guy.”
In summary, I have written about what I think my reputation is, and how I think it originated and has mutated beyond its original form. I’ve also written about how accurate I feel it is, and have rationalised and somewhat justified my side of the story.
That just leaves one last thing, and that is to ask you what you think. Thank you for reading my post, and I would deeply appreciate your thoughts and comments.
Question: Leave a comment on what you think about arrogance, and whether there are positives to having an arrogant attitude.
I would also appreciate if you would read through my other posts, which are all categorized on my Welcome Page.
As a college student living away from my parents, I get to exercise free will to a much larger extent than most students in India get to do. And as every young adult who gets to exercise free will, I tend to abuse it.
I am a naturally heavy sleeper, and I thank the powers that be for that gift regularly. Having practised pulling all-nighters since the 8th grade, I have effectively limited the functioning capabilities of my body to a large extent, including a severe loss of stamina, “crash naps” and increased appetite, which has caused me to gain weight on multiple occasions, much to the chagrin of my father. These gains are in the vicinity of 10 pounds (4 kilograms), so while it is not earth-shattering (and neither am I *BaDumTss*), it is a large enough change for this issue to be serious.
Hence, I speak from experience of the physical and mental damage that shortage of sleep causes if kept up regularly.
In fact, here is a frankly-terrifying info-graphic from this Huffington Post article:
Dealing With Bad Sleep Habits
I don’t think I need to plug more details on these issues, and it seems tacky to me to possibly scare someone about something that they had probably been taking for granted. So I will rather share some methods of getting past this block, and share some tweets that people have put out regarding sleep and sleep issues.
Art of Manliness has a very nice article on the power of napping that you can find here. The author explains why it is easier and better to take a nap for 30 minutes a day, to temporarily boost productivity, and reduce the strain on the body.
Jason Fitzpatrick also writes from personal experience of LifeHacker on how to reboot your sleep cycle in what is a very beautiful and especially detailed article that you can find here. What I really like about this piece is that the author keeps it very real, stating that Sleep Deprivation is not a badge of honour and links to a piece that shows it is similar to intoxication. I learnt much from this article, including the debunking of the myth that I must make up my sleep hours minute-to-minute. The author hammers out both short-term goals to feel better and fresher, and long term goals to counter-act severe sleep deprivation. There’s a reason LifeHacker is a super-popular site. Statistics
So that’s it for this short piece.
Thank you for reading. Please let me know if you prefer this shorter, more digestible form of article with more links, or if you prefer my full opinion in a long structured article. This was definitely easier to post, but it was also out of my comfort zone because I felt haven’t contributed enough. Let me know in the comments or connect with me on
Yesterday, I signed up for the Zero to Hero 30 Day Blog Challenge, which is why I am writing this.
It is not that I don’t like writing. I have 3 short stories and at least 8 articles either in draft form or as ideas saved in various places such as my Sky Drive, my Google Drive and the Memo app on my Smartphone. Why is it then that I have not posted anything in such a long time?
Hi, my name is Vaibhav Gupta. I am currently a final year student at Christ University, Bangalore, India pursuing B.Sc. (Hons) in Computer Science. My blog name is outdated. It was a funny pun last year, and I wasted yesterday evening trying to come up with another name, which brings me to what this blog is about. Yesterday I learnt that I do not know how to define myself – I do not have a USP. I am unable to boil myself and my blog down to, say, 3 discernible features.
It is not that I am a thoroughly uninteresting person – Indeed, I have engaged extensively in theatre (Yes, British spelling), dance, writing, debate and many other activities. I am (albeit inexperienced) a web designer, and have an understanding of Adobe Photoshop and Flash, and several programming and scripting languages. I enjoy reading, and the occasional art. Cue end of shameless self-promotion Yet, I don’t particularly imagine myself impressive. Oh, also, I can type without looking at the keyboard. 😛
So why should you read my blog? Firstly, thank you for reading this.
You can find decent or semi-decent fiction here from time to time. I write essays, articles and poems, and last year, I started writing (or drafting) short stories.
You can accompany me on my journey of self-discovery, choosing either to help me with your feedback, or (I hope) taking away something which helps you in return.
I spend most of my time over-thinking things. If there is a topic you would like to discuss, I could write a post on it after appropriate research. Of course, this depends on your feedback.
So far, my posts have been about abstract concepts that I have found interesting. However, my interests are something I have (not actively) kept away from this blog. I shall remedy that this year. Last year, I took up making small clay models after my sister bought some clay and never used it. I cook quite often, and I made a ton of food last year. I also made a couple of paintings and some arty displays. I’ll soon start putting up pictures of these. I can even add recipes for the food if you would be interested.
I also follow a lot of TV shows. My favourites (British spelling, yes) are Doctor Who (British show, yes) and the WWE. I also like How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Glee and Community, and am currently watching Breaking Bad, and a nice load of Japanese movies. I may or may not write about these in the near future (hopefully).
In conclusion, I’d like to ask for your help in keeping this blog alive through your feedback, which would motivate me to write more.
If you haven’t been ignoring every single piece of personal, societal, racial or global information, you’ve probably noticed that there is a lot of hatred in this world. Heck, if you’re reading this blog, then you are already quite open to getting other people’s views and getting news (or, you know, I shoved the link in your face).
The concept is nothing new. As a species, we’ve been surprisingly receptive and generous in hate. And everyone does it. Not even priests bathe in milk (An Indian idiom – denoting a person very virtuous in nature; generally negated in the sentence – “He is not bathed in milk.”) – just ask the Westboro baptist church.
Let’s see down the years.
In history, we’ve had an atrocious number of genocides. Whether it be Hitler’s Holocaust or Stalin’s Great Purge, history stands testament to people losing themselves in mindless hate. Here is an article showing just that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genocides_in_history
For quite a few years now, education has taught us that racism is bad. For 4000 or so more, we as a species have practiced it. Whether it be comparing Jews to the heathens, or the subjugation of blacks because “The Bible condemns them to be servants unto servants.” or any hatred based on color or race is appalling and stupid. Fear of the unknown drives us to lash out, like a pathetic cornered animal. Only, the corner here is made-up. For more about racism: http://www.pbs.org/race/000_About/002_04-background-02-01.htm
Other notable examples are sexism, hatred towards sexual orientation, slandering celebrities, and bullying, among many others.
But despite the huge influence of music and literature promoting love and despite several anti-hate movements, why do we still feel the need to hate?
Here are the 5 thinks I think are major reasons we tend to feel enmity, envy or aggression towards our fellow man:
Fear of the Unknown/Stereotyping
This, along with propagation of the same, I believe, is the reason racism exists, or at least, the reason racism started. Race hatred is one of the most powerful forms of malevolence, because it manifests in a group vs individual situation. Cultural and color differences are apparent at a glance. Paranoid, overprotective and small-minded people tend to abhor these differences, and instinctively lash out, verbally or physically. What is worse is that such people tend to attract similar-minded people. There is an Indian saying – “In a group, even a jackal becomes a lion.” Hence, in a public situation, racist hatred escalates quickly, making it one of the most antisocial and dangerous forms of hatred.
It is important to note that these fears also extend to hatred based on sexual orientation and religion. Hatred towards homosexuals arises mainly because of beliefs that gay people have made an unnatural and “evil” decision to be gay, that they shall forcefully convert each person to be gay, and that such people have a natural disposition to be rebellious and antisocial, among other such beliefs.
Religion raises similar issues where a person (again, in a “cornered” state), believes that if someone else believes in a different God, a notion strictly forbidden by the holy scripture of their own religion, they will somehow be punished because they are “condoning the crime”, which also begets punishment (very conveniently).
Also worth noting is that all science fiction dealing with alien life depicts aliens as a much more advanced society, and that they are uniform/ (mostly) uniform species and have no concept of religion, in contrast to human beings who come in several variations of physical and social characteristics.
Dominance and Control
Often, two situations arise in a relationship simultaneously. One person gets too much power and control over the other, and/or one is under the control of the other, usually being blackmailed. When both of these happen simultaneously, the relationship more often than not becomes abusive.
Both aspects are to be considered here. First, when one partner gets too powerful in a relationship, they start controlling more and more of their partner’s comings and goings. This kind of power is intoxicating, and the intoxication surprisingly does not yield pleasure, as one would expect but strangely, it breeds contempt towards the weaker partner. This relationship does not have to be between a couple in love, but any two individuals really. If you think about it, this is how bullying escalates. The bully, for whatever reason, vents his frustrations on the other, and begins to push the other more and more, as if to see how far the other will bend.
For the weaker partner, the obvious hatred comes from thoughts of being unfairly persecuted and thoughts of avoiding or escaping the situation. The weaker partner is quite often a timid or shy person, or a person who chooses to avoid confrontation and fighting, and this characteristic not only encourages the bully, but also bottles up more and more resentment in the weaker partner.
(Credits to the wonderful Aakriti Verma for brainstorming with me and coming up with the basis for this point.)
The idea came about from parents who harbor resentment towards disabled children. In the hyper-competitive environment that we live in, each one of us is pressured to succeed, either actively or passively by the society. A lot of times, it is the individual’s perceived notion that society wants her to succeed, but is actually a self-imposed set of standards that are difficult or impossible to maintain. In such a situation, if we somehow “fail”, we get bothered very quickly, especially when we blame the so-called failure on factors other than the self’s hard work, such as circumstance, accident, or lack of initiative from another.
If a parent is very dedicated to raising their child as well as they possibly can, and due to some circumstances, there comes a big hurdle in the way, e.g. a child suffers permanent damage in an accident, it is found that the parent often blames the child for it, rather than the situation, and thus becomes hostile. Oh and God forbid s/he’s gay!
It’s the same as when an unfortunate woman is raped, the media, and by extension, we as a society find ways to blame the woman, as is becoming a common trend the world over (which is stupid, appalling and pathetic, by the way).
Unfair pressure from the society to be perfect gets to most of us, and the destructive criticism or judgment that the machine that is society throws at us, often causes us to rage against a weaker opponent, whoever is unlucky enough to be at hand. This is especially true of Indian parents, who put a ridiculous amount of pressure on their children because they do not want to be embarrassed in the closely-knit Indian society (Thankfully, my parents do not pressure me in this way. Unfortunately, I speak of the self-imposed impossible standards from experience).
In simple terms, anger is misdirected from the larger stronger opponent (societal norms and circumstances) to a weaker opponent, and this leads to dominance and subjugation, as discussed earlier.
Entitlement and Jealousy
This point is the original idea that led me to write this piece.
What I feel is a major stepping stone towards full-blown antisocial hatred is the unsettling amount of hatred that we throw out casually every day.
” I h8 Justin Bieber coz he’s such a fag. Your gay, loser!”
“Shah Rukh Khan is an arrogant jerk.”
“Steve Jobs was nothing special. He just stole from people by selling them overexpensive electronic crap.”
“I hate <that new movie>. It sucks.”
I find that the teenage and young adult group is most vulnerable to this kind of talk.
CHILL OUT! I sometimes say to people who make such remarks, “I don’t have the time to hate these people. I have a path to make for myself.” You’ve probably heard that one saying – An empty mind is a devil’s workshop.” By encouraging this casual hatred towards other people, be they celebrity or ordinary, we tell ourselves and others around us that it is okay to hate. It is not. Deriders will tell me that we have a right to opinion, and to them I say don’t abuse your right.
I feel that this directed hatred towards celebrities comes from this notion that forms in childhood that we are entitled to a good, successful, rich and happy life, and when we don’t get it, we tend to blame the people who apparently do have a happy life. Ironically, this sense of entitlement comes largely from the culture of art and film. A lot of movies are made where the dashing hero works hard throughout to get the perfect life and the perfect girl in the end. Let me make it perfectly clear – You and I are entitled to NOTHING. What we have and what we shall have comes from a combination of hard work, luck and confidence with a healthy dose of help from others.
This kind of casual hatred experienced a heavy boost with the popularization of the internet, the forums and message boards and social networking sites. Now stop blaming the sites – I know that would be the first thought that a number of you would have. Don’t blame the tool, blame the user. The anonymity that the internet offered and still offers encourages this kind of unsolicited judgment. Every person who ever took to the internet as salvation from whatever problems they were facing in real life, channel that subjugation anger out on this pervasive yet anonymous medium. If you don’t believe me or if you doubt my words, go look at a popular YouTube video’s comments section.
I believe that if we begin to address this issue right at the onset, that is, during a child’s formative years, we can make them model citizens who believe more in self-upliftment than pulling down others. If we nip this casual hatred in the bud, we can automatically curb the stereotype, dominance and pressure hatred that a person dishes out. Conversely, if we encourage this kind of behaviour, it could increase the frequency of the child getting in trouble, and eventually falling into a cycle of hatred (addressed below).
Hate Begets Hate AKA Retribution
As you read this article, it is entirely possible that you think either “Such people are stupid.” or “This author is stupid. He doesn’t know what he is talking about.”.
People may or may not have first-hand experience with any of the above (or other) forms of animosity. Those who have, often want to not only escape the situation, but receive “justice” for the wrong they have suffered. I do not deride these feelings, but rather I point out that justice can be subjective.
Those who haven’t experienced such hatred first-hand nevertheless have read about it, or seen videos and movies, or have been exposed to it in some other second-hand manner. As we are wont to do, we do judge such acts as heinous and resent them, and this resentment is the seed of fresh hatred. Whether it is righteous anger or not is irrelevant. The point is that it is that easy for hatred to be born. It is a self-replicating, self-sustaining mechanism now.
In the end, I feel a little helpless, because there is a circle of hatred prevalent in society. As Masashi Kishimoto pointed out in his manga series Naruto Shippuuden, one feels outraged when their friends and family are massacred in a war, and they wreak justice upon those responsible. But then the family of these “aggressors” feel outraged and wronged, and they shall unleash their own brand of justice on the revenge-taker, and thus the cycle of hatred goes along.
I am personally troubled because I find it easy to forgive, but difficult to forget. Hence, I’m sure that at a sub-surface (surficial?) level, I do somewhat resent even those I forgive, and that makes me a hypocrite, something I don’t want to be.
If you feel your opinion can add to this topic, or address these issues, please feel free to comment, criticize, suggest and appreciate.