Secret-keeping: Genetics or Upbringing?

The Daily Challenge sounds like a juicy topic, but is rather droll for me. Can I keep a secret? Have I ever spilled the beans?

Of course I can’t! Of course I have. i’m by my own admission a motormouth, a sliptongue, JabberJaws™ himself. It’s a boring topic for me because I cannot remember whether my loose lips have ever caused a major issue between people. There have been incidents here and there that are now too inconsequential to remember.

However, in recent memory, I have been adversely affected by loose lips – not mine though! Not the plant, but rather the planters’. Both my parents can’t keep a secret to save their lives. In two cases, I had good news that I wanted to deliver myself as a surprise, but in both cases my thunder was stolen, and I wasn’t even informed.

October 2013 – I started my 5 month journey to getting accepted at Oracle. I had been rejected after a few rounds, only to be invited in December to interview for a new position, my current position. At the time, the only person who knew this was my father. We had agreed to not tell anyone on either of our ends. A few weeks later, my aunt asked about Oracle, and I knew he had blabbed. I got really angry but he made up some nonsensical excuse. In February, when I got the confirmation, I called my mother to let her know, and I knew from that conversation that he had told her very long ago, and had been pretending to keep our pact for 3 months. I wanted to punch someone (him) so hard in the face.

September 2014 (“Oh my gosh, that’s now!) – Our current living situation is like this – i’m working in Bangalore, my sister is at college in Odisha and my parents are living a socialite life back in Kolkata. My sister is due to be back in Kolkata for a week at the end of September, her first vacation. I was planning a surprise visit to coincide with her trip, and was looking at 29th September, which is my father’s birthday. I only told my mother about it, and went about trying to make it happen. A few days into it, I got a message from my sister who was excited about me coming over. Mother had blabbed. Again, I was pretty angry over it. Joke’s on all of us, because I can’t work out a financially viable travel plan.

So, herein I ask you – Is the blabbermouth tendency a genetic trait I received from both my parents, or is it that I am simply mimicking what I have been brought up to believe is okay? On the one-hand, many of our psychological traits may be inherited from our parents. On the other hand, self control and secret keeping sound like skills that one teaches themselves, or learns through experience. Sound off in the comments for what you believe is the answer to this question. Thank you for reading!

  • I think we don’t usually keep secrets to ourselves. We spread it in the “circle of trust”, convincing ourselves that the secret would be kept secret. We can always chose our circles of trust. So I think it is nurture not nature that presented us with this trait!

    • That makes sense – a secret may be too “juicy” to not share with our nearest and dearest.
      But then if X has shared a secret with Y, and specifically mentioned not to tell Z, but Y goes and tells Z, then X and Y wouldn’t be in a circle of trust, right?

      • haha yes…but what if Z is a permanent member of the circle of trust of Y!! The Aunt, The mother and The Sister may have been the permanent members. So, it is X to blame 😛 🙂 😀

        • What if Z is also in the permanent circle of X? In that case, Y just stole X’s thunder. 😛