Ice Cream

A letter to myself about a tone deaf ice cream commercial and health goals.

Dear Vaibhav,

Inspiration can come from anywhere – you know that. You now have enough to self-sustain.

Every corporation in the world wants your money. Every last one of them, and they’re happy to let you feel like shit if it means turning a profit. You received this tone-deaf email from BigBasket about ice cream, right after you read a story about transformative health and fitness.

Big Basket Ice Cream Flyer
You NEED it.

“Go ahead and drown your sorrow in food, and pay us while you’re at it.”

Half your stress these days are because of your weight. The recurring depressive episodes and anxiety attacks are most often caused by underlying concern for your weight.

You’re fitter than last year, but it’s not nearly enough. The body requires a lot more exercise than you’re giving it. You’ve spent half a year educating yourself on nutrition and exercise. You’re better equipped to be healthy now than you’ve ever been.

You are ready for your late twenties goal that you have been writing about in private.

You’ve given enough patronage to KFC and other food outlets out of sadness. Now, if you decide to have KFC or ice cream, you will do it consciously, acknowledging that you hold the power and you will deal with the consequences of your decision.

Whenever you feel like shit and decide to order more food, come back to this article. You are now able to get back to the same level of motivation as you have while writing this.

This current week is about your habit tracker and only that. Everything else is secondary.

Go shred yourself,

Nivendra Uduman | #TalkbackTuesday

#TalkbackTuesday number 15 – with Nivendra Uduman, and we talk about psychology, depression, and compassion.

Hi, and welcome to #TalkbackTuesday. This week’s interview is with Mr. Nivendra Uduman. See his interview below.

Talkback Tuesday is a feature for and about everyday people. It is always inspirational to look into the life of another person, and realize it is just as complex and large and confusing as your own.
Continue reading “Nivendra Uduman | #TalkbackTuesday”

My Experience with Antidepressants

The story of my depression, part 3. A suicidal episode led me to being prescribed antidepressants, and eventually, resolution.

The stigma around psychological disorders is so strong that the moment you mention ‘mental illness‘ or ‘antidepressants‘ to someone, they become uncomfortable, imagining crazy, shouting people in straitjackets and “nice men in white coats”. Continue reading “My Experience with Antidepressants”

The Matchbox

The story of my depression, part 2. I lived in a tiny apartment for 9 months that I named The Matchbox. It was a time of revelations and confrontations.

The matchbox was unknowingly claustrophobic. I wasn’t aware of the walls shrinking even as my person was pushing out from the confine of my skin, forcing me to grow, even if I didn’t want to. Continue reading “The Matchbox”

Freedom of Direction

The story of my depression, part 1. When I graduated, I didn’t realize how intimidating freedom is. For the first time, I didn’t have an overarching goal.

I didn’t know that I didn’t want freedom.

Rather, I wasn’t yet ready to handle the magnitude of being free. When I was unshackled from the outer inhibitors of freedom, I was yet to remove the inner ones. Continue reading “Freedom of Direction”

Birthday Breakdown, Literally

I had a bad breakdown on my birthday. What I’m writing is a reflection on it, and I think it will be inherently negative. If this don’t want to read negative things, don’t read this.

I like to think that with my renewed interest in blogging, I have made this space a progressive and positive place. I believe that I’m constantly looking for self-improvement and tolerance and that I have been able to reflect that in my posts.
This past Sunday, on my birthday, I had one of the worst breakdowns of my life. It wiped away many delusions I had about the extent of my development as a person, and made me question if I was still an angry angst-ridden teenager. It made me feel small.

It’s been 3 days since that. I am okay now, and the time is appropriate to reflect on it, talk about it, and salvage something from it. However, what I’m writing is a reflection on it, and I think it will be inherently negative. If this goes against what you expected from this post, or if you want to avoid reading about negative things, I strongly recommend you stop reading now.

Continue reading “Birthday Breakdown, Literally”

The Plight of the Stand-Along

This thought originated from this post from Thought Catalog

At some point in their lives, many people encounter a phase where nothing goes right. Everything is bad, or dull, or boring and uninteresting, or unappealing. It’s a terrible feeling, because I’ve had several tastes of these phases, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

A friend of mine is currently suffering from something of this sort. S/he (henceforth referred to as she) shared some of he/r feelings with me recently, and that was my motivation to write this. I don’t know if she is feeling hopelessness, but from what she has told me, I feel she has had a rough few months, and by extension, a rough couple of years at her workplace. And I feel helpless because I want to help her, but I do not know how to do it. I don’t know how open I can be with her, since we’ve had our ups and downs, and it hinders me a little. And that is my topic for today – The plight of the stand-along; my plight, as I feel helpless for my friend; the plight of all friends who see their loved one go through something difficult and feel that they are not helping enough.

Really, I just want to be the “stand-along” – the handhold in the storm that she can confidently grab without fear of abandonment if she wants to. I want to hold her hand and lead her out of her doldrums, and bring freshness and rejuvenation into her life, if she would have me.

Here is my problem. How do you know when you are helping a friend and when you are patronising them? How and where do you draw a line between respect and child-like care and spoon-feeding? How do you know that the choices you suggest aren’t toxic by themselves? And most importantly, how do you know when to leave your friend alone, and when to super-glue their arm to yours?

If you, dear reader, have gone through something of this nature, or know someone who has – could you please help me? That’s the question of the day. Please help me get started, and I am confident I can handle the rest.

I have deliberately been vague because I want to keep my friend anonymous. If necessary, I can divulge a few more details in private.

I eagerly await your responses. Thank you for reading my post.